Starting out, searching for a good male sex toy seemed like a nightmare I desperately wanted to wake up from. Not only did I have no clue what I was doing, but I didn’t even know what my options were. Having been living under the rock of my ex-partner for several years, my knowledge about sex toys for men was more limited than my bank account (which, by the way, didn’t help matters any).
Today’s best male sex toys are great, I came to find out. But I also discovered that some of them are very expensive. Unless you want to stick with disposable pocket pussies for the rest of your life, money must be spent. Hopefully, you’ll spend yours a little more wisely than I spent mine. With no guidance and no ideas, I wasted thousands of dollars on sex toys that ended up pissing me off instead of pleasing me. It’s my hope that the following information can help you avoid that situation entirely.
The Top 5 Properties of a Male Sex Toy That’s Worth Your Money
My motto is and always has been “To each his own,” but that doesn’t mean I can’t recognize a well-rounded product when I see one. They’re everywhere, they’re just hiding among the riffraff. I’ve learned by lesson the hard way. The following are the top 5 things I now look at when I’m shopping for a worthy sex toy for men:
- The Functionality
All male sex toys operate differently, even if they’re made to do the same exact thing. For example, a male masturbator can work and jerk our penis like a pro but to get the settings situated it may take manipulation of touch-sensitive buttons, turn-style knobs, remote controls or smart phone apps. Some of the higher-end high-tech models can even be controlled remotely or customized to provide pleasure in a way that only you and/or your partner sees fit. I absolutely love the customizable options, especially since sex and masturbation are such personal practices.
- The Size
As with everything in life, the size is important. Whether talking about the size of your bank account, the size of your house or the size of your penis, we all want the biggest and brightest. However, male sex toys are a little different. While large and in-charge are great attributes, buying a device simply because it’s big is a rookie mistake. And if you’re a rookie, extra-large sex toys probably aren’t the best option for you. The only exception is when it deals with the size of your penis in relation to the insertable length and/or girth of the toy. In that case, go as big or as small as is necessary to experience a painlessly pleasurable sex or masturbation session.
- The Shape
The overall shape of the male sex toy you’re considering will play a significant role in how easy it is to use, how much pleasure you derive from it, and how versatile it can be in the bedroom. For instance, prostate massagers come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. But I keep several different models on hand because they’re all shaped differently. Their shapes determine how I use them and who I use them with. The big boys with lots of texture get saved for partners who are experienced. The smaller devices with smoother textures are reserved for the newbies. What can I say? It’s a pretty good system.
- The Features
I call this part of the process “Feature Fingering.” You’ll want to get in there and really explore the device like it’s on trial for murder. Consider whether the features are even realistic for the kind of sex life you want or have. Think about how easy those features are to use for you and/or your partner. Remember that there’s bound to a learning curve when it comes to using newly developed or high-tech male sex toys. And while the majority of manufacturers offer an owner’s manual with your purchase, I still find myself confused about how something works from time to time so you’re not alone. I simply warn against becoming complacent because you’re overwhelmed. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable for a minute and things will change drastically I guarantee it.
- The Manufacturer
I didn’t know this at first, but a certain level of brand loyalty is extremely helpful in the male sex toy world. Because many products are designed to work in unison with one another, the only way to fully enjoy the features and functionality is to also purchase the accompanying device. Manufacturers like Kiiroo, Fleshlight, We-Vibe and Lelo do that kind of thing a lot, with a whole host of high-tech, interactive male sex toys that take sex and/or masturbation to a completely amazing, life-like level. On top of that, some sex toy makers also offer loyalty incentives like special discounts and coupon codes when you buy from them or purchase more than one product in a single transaction.
Putting Your Knowledge to the Test
I’m probably the only one in my entire group of friends that knows this much about male ex toys, but at least I’m able to provide a service with the knowledge. I’ve be privileged by some of the best orgasms a human being can experience, but the journey there wasn’t always pretty. Pu your education to the test by taking a leap of faith. Your penis will thank you later.